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Post by cornflakegrl on Feb 5, 2023 20:57:47 GMT
What exactly are you all reading that warrants him being a narc or an asshole or whatever?
He left his wife. It happens every day. She is the one proving that she is shameless, manipulative and vindictive. Does that mean he was a saint? No but it I don't see how it means "he had it coming."
Maybe I missed something. But it sounds like some projection going on here. If a woman has gone bonkers it's because the man drove her to it. That might be true in some cases and even this one but I don't see it with what's been posted.
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Post by pecanpie on Feb 5, 2023 20:59:49 GMT
Maybe it's me, but I'm getting a whiff of covert narc vibes from him. Those kinds of people are able to maintain some veneer of stability on the surface. But do a lot of damage behind the scenes. They get away with more because they're masterful at manipulating people and situations and deflecting blame and coming away unscathed (or less so). When they hook up with someone like this chick, who's already a bit crazy, making them even crazier (which by contrast makes them look like the put upon victim to the world) is like shooting fish in a barrel. I think he'd be fine with only seeing those kids when it was convenient for him if she kept her mouth shut publicly and in the press and he didn't have to deal with any bullshit from her (or the kids, by proxy) that made him look like the bad guy. I suggest you read the court papers; they might change your mind. I didn’t know (or care) about either of them until she tweeted about the divorce. He has always been involved with his kids and I don’t think he’s the narc. It’s also pretty tough to get children removed from their parents because they are assholes, so suggesting if she’s so awful why doesn’t he have them … he’s been trying. |
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Post by MsDark on Feb 5, 2023 21:31:08 GMT
Just from everything I've seen, I say they're both assholes who bring out the worst in one another. And crappy parents.
Not disputing she's nuts. I just have a hard time feeling sorry for him. He wouldn't want these kids if she wasn't making things inconvenient for him by making a loony tunes spectacle of herself (and involving/poisoning the kids) in the public eye. Going by how she's been acting, he shouldn't have left these kids with her. But he did. I don't buy "she's crazier than he thought".
He'd look like shit if he didn't sue her for custody at this point.
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Post by sputnik on Feb 5, 2023 22:46:39 GMT
i'm not blaming someone for not staying in a shitty marriage 'for the sake of the kids'. and it's not that easy to take kids away from their mother if they've always lived with her, even if she's nuts. that she's nuts doesn't mean she's a danger to them which he'd have to prove to get them removed from his care. they might resent/hate him for it if he did anyway, and it would be even more traumatic for them than it already is.
i know there's a tendency to want to 'both sides' things and to want to blame the man at least partially especially since he's moved on with a chick 20 years younger (which he did after the split, and there's nothing wrong with moving on with your life or any reason why he should have to remain celibate until the kids go to college or something)... so unless i'm forgetting something, he hasn't done anything shitty or awful here, whereas there's an entire laundry list of shady shit she's done. so far it seems like the worst he's guilty of is marrying a crazy chick which, like, some men are into and it's all fun and games until you have kids and want a divorce and she goes all bunny boiler.
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Post by MsDark on Feb 5, 2023 23:56:20 GMT
I have no idea if the new chick was a factor in the split or came after the fact. It really doesn't matter.
The point is he jumped ship and left his kids (with a potential bunny boiler) because it was easier for him. And now it's biting him in the ass.
I don't know these people personally, but it's pretty sus on both ends IMO. Even if it's all about the overtly narc bunny boiler in the press.
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Post by lindsaywhit on Feb 6, 2023 20:01:01 GMT
I don't know, it's hard because I instinctively want to side with the woman, but leaving the kids with her, even if she's a little kooky, seems the right thing to do for the kids. Why uproot everything? She was the primary caretaker, wasn't she? So that would seem to be the most sensible plan.
Then, she started being crazy, but maybe it crept up slowly, like boiling a frog (horrible), and suddenly he realizes he's got hell-in-a-handbasket on his plate, and now what? So he starts the court process, but she has all the time in the world to counter with more crazy.
I don't know, but I would think there would have to be an overt threat to the girls to get an emergency court order to take them away from Alice without having them come flat out against their mother.
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Post by dilligaf on Feb 6, 2023 22:15:59 GMT
Well, this is exactly what abusive men do to their discarded women, they try to make them look like they are wrong, and they use the courts to further abuse. Always going to be team woman. He sounds like an absolute nightmare who has no control over his dick.
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Post by pecanpie on Feb 6, 2023 22:31:38 GMT
Well, this is exactly what abusive men do to their discarded women, they try to make them look like they are wrong, and they use the courts to further abuse. Always going to be team woman. He sounds like an absolute nightmare who has no control over his dick. Seriously - read the court documents. He’s not the nightmare in this relationship. |
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Post by faithanne on Feb 6, 2023 22:41:14 GMT
Well, this is exactly what abusive men do to their discarded women, they try to make them look like they are wrong, and they use the courts to further abuse. Always going to be team woman. He sounds like an absolute nightmare who has no control over his dick. Abusive? Where are you getting that from? She's a nutjob, he might be too but at least he has the good sense to keep his lunacy off social media. |
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Post by kittylady on Feb 7, 2023 0:22:41 GMT
My theory is that assholes get together and if he'd be decent, he wouldn't have been involved with her for so long.Team poor kids here. That's not how it works. No abuser meets you and announces "Hi I'm **** and I am going to Fuck. Up. Your. Life!" Instead you get the best side of them, a side that seems so lovely and loving and they really sweep you off your feet by being so damn perfect for you (AKA Love Bombing the shit out of you). Then they gradually start to break you down, so gradually that you can't see it happening until you are in waaay over your head, by which point it's already been ingrained in you to doubt yourself, to believe that it's all your fault that this is happening and if you can just do X or Y or Z then it'll all be wonderful all the time, just like it can be when they occasionally choose to be. lindsaywhit nailed it when she said it was like boiling a frog. If you try to drop a frog into a pan of hot water then it will struggle to escape. However, if you put the frog into a pan of cold water and slowly increase the heat it'll stay there, being cooked alive. Getting out is not easy, not even if you are lucky enough to have money or other resources at your disposal, because the shackles holding you in place are mental. I wasn't married to him or even officially lived with him but I still struggled to get away and tried many, many times over the last couple of years together to end it before it was finally over once and for all. Well, this is exactly what abusive men do to their discarded women, they try to make them look like they are wrong, and they use the courts to further abuse. Always going to be team woman. He sounds like an absolute nightmare who has no control over his dick. No. This is exactly what abusive PEOPLE do to their discarded (or escaped) PARTNERS. Abuse doesn't discriminate for age, gender, colour, sexual orientation or social standing. It doesn't care what you have in your pants. Women are just as capable of being abusers as they are of being abused. I'm not going to side with a woman simply because I'm also woman, just as I'm not going to look for reasons to blame a man because my abuser was a man. I believe him. I don't believe her. |
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Post by czb on Feb 7, 2023 2:53:02 GMT
i don't have enough info to really make an opinion (i'm not going to read the court docouments). i just don't like it when people post their personal stuff on SM. seems really juvenile and manipulative.
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Post by daphodil on Mar 12, 2023 15:38:13 GMT
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Post by loftybike on Mar 12, 2023 17:55:13 GMT
Evans, 54, had pleaded not guilty to two counts of violating the order which bans her from posting disparaging remarks about Gruffudd, 49, or his 29 year-old girlfriend Bianca Wallace on social media.
I think I'd be pretty angry, too if my 5 years younger husband would leave me for a 29 year old - 20 years his junior, when I'm 54. That's just an awful blow to the ego and shows his emotional maturity.
Meh.
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Post by pecanpie on Mar 12, 2023 21:12:54 GMT
They had been separated for nearly a year when he started the new relationship. He didn’t leave Alice for her.
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Post by loftybike on Mar 13, 2023 18:47:35 GMT
^^^I seem to be unable to grasp these two. Sorry!
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