Bumping this thread as Hayden has been talking on Jada Pinkett-Smith's Red Table Talk.
Hayden Panettiere is worried that daughter Kaya, seven, is having a 'trauma reaction' to their separation... after she relinquished custody of the child
Hayden Panettiere is concerned her daughter is experiencing 'trauma' as a result of their separation.
The former Heroes star, 33, relinquished custody of Kaya, seven, when she was two-years-old, handing her over to her dad, Wladimir Klitschko.
She admitted she was horrified by a conversation with her former partner when he revealed that their child kept asking to call other women 'Mommy'.
Speaking on Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk, Hayden said: 'I also remember her dad [Klitschko] calling me and telling me Kaya's going around and asking other women if she can call them mommy.'
She described how she felt in the moment after. 'My breath hitched and my heart stopped, and he was laughing. He thought this was funny and it was horrifying to me.'
'He didn't get it, as opposed to me, who saw that's a trauma reaction. That's a cry for help.'
Then she explained, 'I said immediately "Can I talk to my daughter?" and when I asked her about it she went into goo-goo ga-ga speak, like just talking gibberish.'
Hayden Panettiere claimed her ex-partner Wladimir Klitschko is refusing to let their daughter, Kaya, seven, visit her in California - and accused him of forcing her to give up their child
'I never before heard her do that. It was a trauma that she was experiencing, me not being around.'
Hayden suggested that her ex Wladimir 'doesn't understand' the lasting impact Hayden's absence could have on Kaya.
She added: 'As much as I have tried to explain how much she needs her mom and how it's going to rear its ugly head when she's older later and it could turn into anger, depression, sadness, but it's going to be trauma. You can explain it to someone who doesn't understand that concept or believe it until you're blue in the face.'
After spending years struggling with substance abuse, Hayden, 33, signed over full custody of Kaya to Klitschko, 46, in 2018, but now, she has claimed that it was 'not' a mutual agreement
The Nashville actress - who has been candid about her struggles with addiction and depression - praised Kaya as an 'incredibly strong child'.
She said, 'She's a very stoic child. When she really gets hurt, you can see her try to hold it back, really hold it in and be like "I'm fine" and dust it off and not want to be held.'
The blonde beauty found the way the decision about custody of Kaya was made to be 'very upsetting.'
Co-host Adrienne Banfield Norris asked: 'You thought this was an agreement that you came to that it was best that your daughter be with her dad?'
Hayden replied, 'At first it was not because it wasn't a discussion. If [Klitschko] had come to me and said, "I think because of where you're at right now and your struggles that you're having it would be good for her to be over here with me for a while" — which if I had probably had enough of a conversation I would've said, "Okay that makes sense, I get it, I'll come there to visit and stuff like that...'
'I was gonna go work on myself, I was gonna get better, and when I got better then things would change and she could come to me and I could have my time with her, but that didn't happen.'
Hayden claimed that her ex-partner Wladimir is refusing to let their daughter, Kaya, seven, visit her in California - and accused him of forcing her to give up their child after he took the little girl to Ukraine for a trip and never returned.
After spending years struggling with substance abuse issues, Hayden signed over full custody of Kaya to Klitschko, 46, in 2018, but now, she has claimed that it was 'not' a mutual agreement.
The Nashville star sat down with Jada Pinkett Smith, her mom Adrienne Banfield-Norris, and guest host Kelly Osbourne on a brand new episode of Pinkett Smith's show Red Talk Table, where she claimed that she was given no choice but to send her daughter to live with her ex permanently - and insisted that despite being sober now, the professional boxer won't let the little girl come see her in the states.
'I thought she was going over to visit him like she always did - she went back and forth between me in Nashville and Ukraine - but once she was over there, [he] was immediately [like], "I want full custody of her," which was a shock for me,' she explained.
'It wasn't my decision. In fact, I didn't even know it was happening until she was already over there. In a country that's very male-dominated, there wasn't a heck of a lot that I could do.
'It was the worst signing those papers, the most heartbreaking thing I've ever, ever had to do in my life. Because of the way that it was done, it was very upsetting.'
Panettiere previously revealed that she had started abusing drugs and alcohol when she was just 15 years old - and that her addiction spiraled out of control while she was battling postpartum depression after Kaya's birth in 2014.
But she insisted that she 'never endangered' her child or did anything that she feels justified her losing custody.'I had never endangered her, or done anything that would... in this country, they would never take a child from me, it never would have happened,' she continued.
'I think that's why she was wanted over there, and once she was there, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just tried to tell myself, "You get yourself better; in time it will change."'
Panettiere explained that as soon as she was 'better,' she was hoping that Kaya would go back to splitting her time between both of her parents, 'But that didn't happen,' she added.
According to the Heroes alum, since Klitschko gained full custody, Kaya has 'never been back to California,' where Panettiere now lives; instead, she has to travel to Europe to see the seven-year-old, but said she 'wishes he would bring her to visit.'
She said it wasn't a 'discussion,' adding that despite her alcohol use, she never 'endangered' Kaya or did anything that she feels justified her losing custody
She added that she believes Klitschko 'thinks he's doing the right thing,' but that he 'doesn't grasp that Kaya needs her mom.'
'He thinks he's doing the right thing, he's a fantastic father, he really is,' she told the hosts. 'But I don't think he fully grasps that as she gets older, kids need their moms.
'He wasn't around to see the kind of mom I was, had he been maybe it would have been different.
'I really hope one day it does change, it's the most heartbreaking thing I ever experienced.
'I haven't gotten any hints that it will [change]. I've been told that I can go over and see her any time.
'I just keep the hope that one day when she's old enough for her opinion to be respected a little more and her wants heard that there will be more proactivity on that side.'
She said she wants it to be known that she never chose to 'throw out' or 'give away' her daughter, when the hosts asked her what the most 'misunderstood' thing was about her.
'The comments people made or the things they assumed about my situation with my daughter we just so off and heartbreaking,' she continued.
'There was a cover of a magazine ... and it said something like, "Why Hayden chose to give up her daughter." I was just like, this is so misrepresented.
'People were like, "How dare you?" and, "You're a horrible mother," and, "I could never do that to my child."
'It was tough and it took me a long time to be able to talk about it. It's scary, you don't want to piss anyone off - especially the person who has control of your child.'
While Kaya still lives somewhere in Europe with her dad, Panettiere said she has left Ukraine amid the country's war with Russia - but didn't specify where exactly she is residing now.
The former child star, who began acting at the age of five, also spoke out about her past battle with addiction, telling the hosts that it started when she was just 16 - while she was promoting the hit TV series Heroes.
She claimed that members of her team began giving her 'happy pills' at the time, in an effort to make her seem more energetic during interviews.
'I was doing press all the time for Heroes and I was a little low energy. [They were like], "Here, take one of these. It's a happy pill, it will give you energy,"' she explained.
'I didn't think of it at the time as a bad thing or a drug. It must have been something like an Adderall but they had got it from Mexico.
'I should have thought, "That's so sketchy" but I didn't because I trusted the person. And it did give me that little bit of energy - I didn't feel like high and out of control but I did feel happy and I was looking forward to doing the interview.'
She soon grew addicted to drugs and alcohol, and while she insists she did not do them while she was pregnant with Kaya, she said her problems were heightened when she developed postpartum depression after her daughter was born.
'I did what I had seen the people around me do when they were depressed or stressed out which was reach for a bottle,' she explained.
'That made it that much worse because alcohol is a depressant. But that's what I learned growing up, that you could change the way you're feeling just by having a glass or something.
'But then it flips on you and does the complete opposite and adds to your depression, and it becomes that endless cycle.
'I wasn't somebody who was a binge drinker and got hammered. It was a slow trickle. It became a compulsive thing to do as soon as I felt like I wasn't happy or had anxiety.
'I of course take responsibility for the role that I played, there were certain things I couldn't control but I wish I had gotten myself more help than I did.
Things got so bad that the star even had to be hospitalized for jaundice, and was told by doctors that she would eventually need a liver transplant if she didn't stop.
She recalled hitting 'rock bottom' and deciding she needed help. She said: 'I was in a fetal position in bed, I couldn't get out, I was in tears all the time.
'I knew I had to stop but I couldn't. I was stuck in this horrifying nightmare that wouldn't end. I was completely by myself, it was terrifying.'
When Panettiere realized her life was at risk, she finally found the strength to seek treatment for her addictions and ultimately entered rehab for eight months.
'I loved it. I loved being around like-minded people who were going through similar things that I was going through,' she shared of her experience at rehab.
'To be able to be in a place where I felt safe and get to be completely open for the first time in my life about all the bitter details...
'I was trained from such a young age to say things a certain way, to dress a certain way, to be perfect. But there, I really got to just open up and tell all my horror stories.'
She is now sober and is ready to share her truth with the world. She admitted: 'I've never been this brutally honest about myself and my personal life, but it made me depressed trying to hide myself. There's something very freeing about being yourself. I feel OK with not being OK.'
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