Britney Spears signs $15 million tell-all book deal

[eatsleepbeer]

She made love to a mango. 🤔

[funky]

Because god is in food.

[eatsleepbeer]

Jun 9, 2022 14:04:23 GMT funky said:

Because god is in food.

That makes her mango love making quite the kink. 

[waterslide]

The top comment on that instagram post from hell is from an author of a book and I was supposed to meet her at my last job but was out sick. In response to Britney, she's very "you go girl! god ~is~ food!" I'm glad I didn't buy her book or meet her because she's apparently a pandering, reckless, enabling loon.  (Which I kind of sensed already, but my coworkers were stanning her hard.)

I didn't know Britney was "from" Bourbon St.?  Or New Orleans in general? Kentwood is 85 miles away from New Orleans. It's not even a suburb of New Orleans. I mean, there are so many things to unpack with that tirade.  The black magic, the Catholic mother, the mango skin (she must have teeth like a beaver), the psychiatrist in her "formal cashmere sweater", the tiny creatures in her hotel room, being forced to draw pictures...It's exhausting to read and actually makes me feel for her caretakers.  

Britney Spears And Sam Asghari Are Getting Hitched Today!
June 9, 2022 / Posted by: Dominique126

Since Britney Spears has been sharing her newly-free life with the world, I would assume that many of us have looked on at her every move with the same cautiously optimistic facial expression Chrissy Teigen had at the Golden Globes a few years ago. Britney’s next free-lady agenda item is to get married (for the third time) to Sam Asghari and reportedly, today’s the day! But Satan’s minions don’t have to worry about hitting up an Old Navy in the Ninth Circle for a parka after their home freezes over, because Britney’s dad is not involved at all.


TMZ caught wind from “sources close to the singer” (let’s not assume it was Sam; but come on, it was probably Sam) that they’re tying the knot today. We can all look for Jamie Spears, Lynne Spears, and Jamie Lynne Spears coming together to scheme from the sidelines because Britney’s only family member to receive an invite was her brother, Bryan Spears.

Sources close to the singer tell TMZ the pair are getting married Thursday in front of a very-exclusive and small guest list of about 100 people. We’re told Britney’s brother, Bryan, is expected to be in attendance — but her mom, dad and sister, Jamie Lynn, will not be there.

Our sources say it’s not yet been decided who will give Britney away at the altar, as final details are still being worked out.

The wedding happening now comes as no real surprise since last month, the couple revealed that they had a wedding date set but weren’t going to share it to maintain some privacy. Sam proposed back in September 2021 and it seemed like Britney said she was very ready to buy a house and wed. And yesterday, suspicions that they’d be getting married in the very near future were raised when Britney posted an Instagram story that featured showing off a very bridey manicure while sipping champs with Sam in a Rolls-Royce:


There are no other real details available at this point like where the wedding will take place, but Britney shared in a since-deleted Instagram post that Donatella Versace would be designing her dress. Hopefully, the House of Versace embraces crop-tops and skirts that are perfect for feverishly twirling around and freestyle dancing on Instagram. And the prenup talks apparently took longer than the norm because of Sam. via The Mirror:

“The talks have been a little longer than usual…Sam wants substantial increases for every five years they are married, should it end.”

In the meantime, hopefully, our thirst for the inevitably questionable day-of details will soon be quenched. When the menu is revealed, it will be a huge disappointment if it doesn’t involve a Cheetos and Frapp feast. And despite Britney “hating flying,” I’m sure they will enjoy a beachy honeymoon full of Britney rolling around on the sand and heart emojis covering her no-no zones, even though they’ve been frequently vacationing for months now. Maybe they’ll mix it up this time and go on a road trip and if that’s the case, hopefully, Brit Brit wears flip-flops when using the gas station bathrooms this time. She doesn’t want to spend her honeymoon in the ER with gas station bathroom floor foot disease (yes, I’m sure that’s a real medical thing).

Pic: Instagram

Tags: Britney Spears, Sam Asghari, Wedding Plans, Weddings

Dlisted

[no1novice]

Britney Spears’ sons not attending her wedding to Sam Asghari, K-Fed reacts.

Britney Spears’ sons with ex-husband Kevin Federline will not be attending her wedding to Sam Asghari on Thursday, Page Six can confirm.

“The boys are not going to be in attendance at the wedding,” Federline’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, who oversees the pro dancer’s custody case with the pop icon, tells us.


“They think the focus of this day should be on Britney and Sam, and they are very happy for her moving forward.”

Spears, 40, and Federline, 44, share sons Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden James, 15.

Kaplan did not confirm whether the teens did not receive an invitation from their mom or if it was their choice not to attend the nuptials, but the high-powered lawyer adds, “You can assume that the boys were welcomed to attend if they expressed that desire.”

On behalf of Federline, Kaplan tells us, “He wants her to be happy and believes this will be a positive step for her in a post-conservatorship era, building a healthy, happy future going forward.”

The professional DJ has 70 percent custody of his sons with Spears, while their mom only has 30 percent.

However, Kaplan previously told us that since Preston and Jayden are “teenagers now,” the parties involved “give a lot of weight to what their desires are” and with whom they spend their time.

In regard to the boys’ relationship with Asghari, 28, it appears to be cordial.

[waterslide]

Oh yeah, the boys aren't going because they don't want to eclipse Britney's one moment to shine. That sounds believable. Also, "cordial" sounds like a polite way of saying that they put up with Sam. Even if it's BS, publicists usually heap on the fatherly praise in these situations...interesting.

[trixie]

Well, at least Britney is getting a pre-nup, so obviously someone is advising her. I could see her not getting one at all, but apparently Sam's demands for bigger payouts hasn't deterred her.

And K-Fed's lawyer is very diplomatic.

[chaz]

Her first husband crashed the wedding while live-streaming it. What a fool, how embarrassing

[tulip]

Jun 9, 2022 9:08:30 GMT Sarzy said:

More ramblings. Swipe past the pics to read. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CejcOHAO_tf

I keep trying to see what is written, but I can't. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. 


Why does she always shoot her instagram pix/videos from that weird, unflattering angle?

[no]

so he "crashed" the wedding but how he did know where and when it was being held in the first place?

[waterslide]

tulip I think the rambling mess was taken down. If I can figure out how, I can post screen shots.

Here's more stuff about Jason Alexander crashing the wedding.  

BRITNEY SPEARS
POLICE RUSH TO WEDDING
Ex-Hubby Tries Crashing It
EXCLUSIVE
6/9/2022 2:46 PM PT




TMZ.com

UPDATE7:05 PM PT -- TMZ has learned Jason's been booked for trespassing, vandalism and 2 batteries ... related to his physical altercations with Britney's security. We're told he also has felony warrant for larceny in another county, and he remains in custody.

5:20 PM PT -- Britney Spears' attorney, Mathew Rosengart, tells TMZ he's "absolutely livid" Jason tried to crash the wedding and says Alexander needs to be locked up.

Rosengart tells us Britney is safe and adds ... "I am personally working with the sheriff's department to ensure Mr. Alexander is aggressively prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

Britney Spears' wedding was just dramatically interrupted, as her first husband, Jason Alexander, showed up trying to crash the event ... resulting in a police response.

Jason went live on Instagram Thursday as he approached event security -- telling him Britney had invited him -- and that she was his first and only wife, and he was going to crash the event before some kind of physical struggle. Alexander's phone then freezes up.

Somehow, Alexander was able to make it inside Britney's home, where he continued to live stream. He was eventually restrained outside.

We're told the Ventura County Sheriff's Department responded for a trespassing call, and are still on the scene.

Alexander showed public support for Britney during the #FreeBritney movement -- he attended a rally outside an L.A. courthouse back in August 2020 and told our cameras he and Britney had recently been in communication.

Britney and Jason got married in January 2004 in a spur-of-the-moment ceremony in Vegas ... and called it quits just 55 hours later.

TMZ broke the story -- Britney and Sam Asghari are set to tie the knot in an L.A. ceremony Thursday.

Originally Published -- 2:46 PM PT

TMZ 

Video and pics at the link.

[MsDark]

What the ever loving fuck??

I thought this dude fucked off back to Louisiana eons ago after the Spears clan sent him packing. How in the hell did he even know about this and where to go?

Something is fishy here.

And:  :::adjusting my old lady specs:::  are those avocados on his drawers??

[eatsleepbeer]

George Costanza crashed the wedding!?! He's the only one I can think of when they say Jason Alexander

[waterslide]

Yup, his name is really Jason Alexander. I hope George Costanza doesn't have social media because he's about to pwned by the Free Britney mob.

MsDark I was wondering what the hell kind of underwear he was wearing. I guess he didn't imagine he'd end up in his skivvies on TMZ, though it seems a bit short-sighted on his part.

[eatsleepbeer]

Jun 10, 2022 4:33:29 GMT waterslide said:

Yup, his name is really Jason Alexander. I hope George Costanza doesn't have social media because he's about to pwned by the Free Britney mob.

MsDark I was wondering what the hell kind of underwear he was wearing. I guess he didn't imagine he'd end up in his skivvies on TMZ, though it seems a bit short-sighted on his part. 

I just saw that #GeorgeCostanza is trending on Twitter 🤣😂🤣🤣.