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Post by Pixie on Nov 28, 2023 10:12:16 GMT
I'm just gonna say it because I'm sure I'm far from alone in this belief, but Paris Hilton should not be raising children, ever. Money does not mean everything, and it certainly does not buy her the ability to give two shits about anyone or anything but herself. These kids will almost certainly be raised dysfunctional and by multiple nannies. Paris is not cut out for mothering, sorry. Completely right but you know how many shitty parents are out there raising kids just to go along with expectations or to actively farm little extensions of themselves. She just happens to be famous, but it's all damaging across the board. You know, one of my in-laws (sister-in-law of my in-laws) cornered me on Thanksgiving so I could "talk to" her son's fiancee who is 30-something and is more of a dog-mom, does not want kids. Like, because I used to be the same and I changed my mind, that meant I could influence her to have kids. Y'all, I gathered up all my skills in being patient and kind in talking to someone like this. I'm like, I didn't have kids because I *love kids* or because my friends were all having kids, or because someone told me I should. I just changed my mind, as all people are allowed to. I actually told her 1) it's like being nuclear physicists: it's an important job with big stakes and if someone doesn't want to do it they REALLY SHOULDN'T, nor should they be pressured to. I said, that's how kids have a horrible childhood and life. 2) When I think about my son's future, I really only care about him being happy. If that doesn't involve a family, that's ok. He could be a worm-farming hermit if that is fulfilling to him. His happiness is more important than my vision of how I thought my future would look. I really don't understand the whole grandparent thing, any more than I ever understood the parent thing. I don't think my motivations are the same as the majority of the people having kids. I especially don't understand how "grandparents" deem they are "owed" grandchildren. Like they have a "right" to grandchildren. I remember having heard really disturbing conversation or people telling me reproachingly "you're not gonna GIVE your parent grandchildren?" no. But they can have a coffee mug set for Christmas if they want. |
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Post by charmedhour on Nov 28, 2023 15:02:01 GMT
Completely right but you know how many shitty parents are out there raising kids just to go along with expectations or to actively farm little extensions of themselves. She just happens to be famous, but it's all damaging across the board. You know, one of my in-laws (sister-in-law of my in-laws) cornered me on Thanksgiving so I could "talk to" her son's fiancee who is 30-something and is more of a dog-mom, does not want kids. Like, because I used to be the same and I changed my mind, that meant I could influence her to have kids. Y'all, I gathered up all my skills in being patient and kind in talking to someone like this. I'm like, I didn't have kids because I *love kids* or because my friends were all having kids, or because someone told me I should. I just changed my mind, as all people are allowed to. I actually told her 1) it's like being nuclear physicists: it's an important job with big stakes and if someone doesn't want to do it they REALLY SHOULDN'T, nor should they be pressured to. I said, that's how kids have a horrible childhood and life. 2) When I think about my son's future, I really only care about him being happy. If that doesn't involve a family, that's ok. He could be a worm-farming hermit if that is fulfilling to him. His happiness is more important than my vision of how I thought my future would look. I really don't understand the whole grandparent thing, any more than I ever understood the parent thing. I don't think my motivations are the same as the majority of the people having kids. I especially don't understand how "grandparents" deem they are "owed" grandchildren. Like they have a "right" to grandchildren. I remember having heard really disturbing conversation or people telling me reproachingly "you're not gonna GIVE your parent grandchildren?" no. But they can have a coffee mug set for Christmas if they want. I am so grateful to my parents for never asking about my having children, especially after my late term loss. My mom truly stands by "your body, your business". My sister was like B, she changed her mind and my parents now have 2 beautiful grandsons and 4 granddogs. My BFF also doesn't have children - my parents call her 3rd daughter. My dad once said to me, "Who would have thought you and K wouldn't have kids, I always thought daughter 2 & 3 both would have a bunch." It wasn't said with ill intent or judgement he was just pondering how the 2 kid friendliest in the family don't have them. |
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Post by beeyotch on Nov 28, 2023 17:55:05 GMT
Completely right but you know how many shitty parents are out there raising kids just to go along with expectations or to actively farm little extensions of themselves. She just happens to be famous, but it's all damaging across the board. You know, one of my in-laws (sister-in-law of my in-laws) cornered me on Thanksgiving so I could "talk to" her son's fiancee who is 30-something and is more of a dog-mom, does not want kids. Like, because I used to be the same and I changed my mind, that meant I could influence her to have kids. Y'all, I gathered up all my skills in being patient and kind in talking to someone like this. I'm like, I didn't have kids because I *love kids* or because my friends were all having kids, or because someone told me I should. I just changed my mind, as all people are allowed to. I actually told her 1) it's like being nuclear physicists: it's an important job with big stakes and if someone doesn't want to do it they REALLY SHOULDN'T, nor should they be pressured to. I said, that's how kids have a horrible childhood and life. 2) When I think about my son's future, I really only care about him being happy. If that doesn't involve a family, that's ok. He could be a worm-farming hermit if that is fulfilling to him. His happiness is more important than my vision of how I thought my future would look. I really don't understand the whole grandparent thing, any more than I ever understood the parent thing. I don't think my motivations are the same as the majority of the people having kids. I especially don't understand how "grandparents" deem they are "owed" grandchildren. Like they have a "right" to grandchildren. I remember having heard really disturbing conversation or people telling me reproachingly "you're not gonna GIVE your parent grandchildren?" no. But they can have a coffee mug set for Christmas if they want. Yes, that weird entitlement to grandchildren. Like they're accessories or status symbols. I think many people want and expect that having a family will be like a Norman Rockwell painting. And life is usually not like that. |
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Post by czb on Nov 28, 2023 18:59:15 GMT
^^^ did you know that some states actually have grandparents' rights on the books? i kid you not.
and bee, i agree with a lot of what you originally said in your post about making your kid's happiness your major goal. i used to be the same way. but now i have modified it for me ... my main goal is their survival and well-being. i guess happiness is part of that but i am mostly concerned about mental wellness.
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burnt_toast
OGs 
bitter jealous fatty from the way back
Posts: 673
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Post by burnt_toast on Nov 28, 2023 19:49:01 GMT
I don't believe grandparents rights are ensuring they are provided grandchildren, but ensures they can have a relationship with their grandchildren even if their child isn't the one with custody.
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Post by kittylady on Nov 28, 2023 20:00:22 GMT
I don't believe grandparents rights are ensuring they are provided grandchildren, but ensures they can have a relationship with their grandchildren even if their child isn't the one with custody. I think, depending on where you are, it also hinges on there being a pre-existing relationship between the child and the grandparents which could prove detrimental to the kid if it's cut off. |
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Post by no1novice on Nov 28, 2023 20:30:04 GMT
I especially don't understand how "grandparents" deem they are "owed" grandchildren. Like they have a "right" to grandchildren. I remember having heard really disturbing conversation or people telling me reproachingly "you're not gonna GIVE your parent grandchildren?" no. But they can have a coffee mug set for Christmas if they want. I am so grateful to my parents for never asking about my having children, especially after my late term loss. My mom truly stands by "your body, your business". My sister was like B, she changed her mind and my parents now have 2 beautiful grandsons and 4 granddogs. My BFF also doesn't have children - my parents call her 3rd daughter. My dad once said to me, "Who would have thought you and K wouldn't have kids, I always thought daughter 2 & 3 both would have a bunch." It wasn't said with ill intent or judgement he was just pondering how the 2 kid friendliest in the family don't have them. My ex-MIL was a total peach. My own father, not so much. He said to me that I could/should "get over" not being able to produce kids and that since my sister had had them that I was "off the hook". Kind of saw it as a reverse duty? |
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Post by czb on Nov 28, 2023 21:30:38 GMT
I don't believe grandparents rights are ensuring they are provided grandchildren, but ensures they can have a relationship with their grandchildren even if their child isn't the one with custody. yes. but it could mean that the grandparents are mandated to provide financial support to the kids. even if they don't have a relationship. it's goofy. |
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Post by loftybike on Nov 29, 2023 12:47:53 GMT
My parents made both my brothers and my childhood a living hell and had the nerve to ask when we'd provide them with children.
We both have no offsprings, we didn't believe in childhood.
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burnt_toast
OGs
bitter jealous fatty from the way back
Posts: 673
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Post by burnt_toast on Nov 29, 2023 18:42:35 GMT
I don't believe grandparents rights are ensuring they are provided grandchildren, but ensures they can have a relationship with their grandchildren even if their child isn't the one with custody. yes. but it could mean that the grandparents are mandated to provide financial support to the kids. even if they don't have a relationship. it's goofy. Lord family law is so complicated and filled up with weird laws to address every possible corner case.... I got into a rabbit hole about grandparents paying financial support and there are so many situations that wouldn't have occurred to me. Like minor children having children and grandparents becoming defacto guardians and then THEY divorce... lordy have mercy. |
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Post by czb on Nov 29, 2023 19:16:51 GMT
^^^ i get that.
i was specifically thinking of my former SiL when she and my brothere divorced. they live in a state with grandparents' laws. basically, she didn't want to get a job and wanted my mother to pony up to support her. i thought that was ridic to try to FORCE my mother to pay for the kids private school and other expenses. the SiL saw my mother's $$$ as her kids' 'birthright'.
she lost.
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Post by HWBL on Dec 24, 2023 12:15:28 GMT
As new photos of Hilton with both her children were published, I read the comments of several people with a medical background:
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Post by loftybike on Dec 24, 2023 12:23:49 GMT
Or - he's just an adorable little boy who happens to have a rather big head. |
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Post by Sarzy on Dec 24, 2023 13:22:01 GMT
I don't know why people leave comments like that under someone's Instagram post. If there's a problem it's probably being dealt with and it's really no-one's business anyway.
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Post by HWBL on Dec 24, 2023 16:02:23 GMT
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