Feel Gut Punched

[no1novice]

Thanks for the additional recommendation burnt toast

[dilligaf]

Thank you for this recommendation, No1novice. I can imagine my body does keep score.

UPDATE

Could not figure how to delete this thread, and glad I didn't, but the two roommates who were shit talking me the worst are moving out this week!!! Things work out after all, at least sometimes they do.

[no1novice]

Ah! Glad that things should improve.

Re deleting - you might not be able to delete the thread but you can delete your posts - or - you can edit them so as to remove the text.

On a mobile phone - Go to the little cog (top right each post) and if you click it it brings up a little menu.
From in there you can delete or edit your post.
Don't forget to click save if you edit it!

Re: the book. I was reading the reviews on Amazon before I ordered it & it sounds like 1 or 2 pages in there is a harrowing case study - I'll be skipping those bits but not the "help" bits (if that makes sense without having read it).

I only mention the book as I went to a work wellbeing thing & they listed physical attributes & despite specific traumas happening years ago it was so present then he recommended the book & it was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me.

[zoeychloe]

I had a disabled friend who was morbidly obese and walked with a cane. She was able to live on her own food delivery service and a maid. I was looking to move, and she suggested we be roommates, and both save money. 

When I moved in, I happily did her laundry, changed her sheets, cooked, washed up, without asking anything in return. I went food shopping and paid for it all. She would give me a list, mostly junk food, which I bought in the beginning. She complained her doctor hounded her to change her diet, so I stopped buying her soda and only one box of junk a week. One time she wanted this one purse from her storage she couldn't possibly find on her own. I climbed all over her teetering furniture, heavy boxes, almost fell several times and found her purse for her. 

I went to visit family for a bit and didn't know when I would come back. When I did, she had a pile of junk on my bed, clothes from my drawers and closet on the floor, my jewelry box open. Even one of my panties was stretched out and torn. Fast food wrappers everywhere including the bedroom!! Half-eaten boxes of Chinese food!!! Full garbage bags and flies! 

And the worst part of it all: AT MY DESK she had her OPEN diary to a page that said basically how much she hated me. I went through her diary (yes, I did!!) and she said I was inconsiderate. I made too much noise - talking on the phone, taking a shower, watching TV, coming home at night. I cooked gross food - mostly stir fry vegetables and tofu. She said I smelled!!  When she came home, she knew I had read her diary. We did not speak at all after that. 

I felt 1% bad but I left. She survived before and could survive after. She texted me a few months later apologizing and asked me to come back. She said I was ruining her life because she couldn't afford her bills (not true) and being disabled couldn't survive on her own (rehire your maid).  I didn't respond. Our mutual "friends" stopped talking to me because of what I did to her.

If she was a close relative I would have stayed begrudgingly. I don't know what happened to her and don't care. 

[constancespry]

Good for you, and good riddance to the “friends”. I feel sorry for her next room-mate.

[kittylady]

Apr 28, 2024 17:07:32 GMT zoeychloe said:

I had a disabled friend who was morbidly obese and walked with a cane. She was able to live on her own food delivery service and a maid. I was looking to move, and she suggested we be roommates, and both save money. 

When I moved in, I happily did her laundry, changed her sheets, cooked, washed up, without asking anything in return. I went food shopping and paid for it all. She would give me a list, mostly junk food, which I bought in the beginning. She complained her doctor hounded her to change her diet, so I stopped buying her soda and only one box of junk a week. One time she wanted this one purse from her storage she couldn't possibly find on her own. I climbed all over her teetering furniture, heavy boxes, almost fell several times and found her purse for her. 

I went to visit family for a bit and didn't know when I would come back. When I did, she had a pile of junk on my bed, clothes from my drawers and closet on the floor, my jewelry box open. Even one of my panties was stretched out and torn. Fast food wrappers everywhere including the bedroom!! Half-eaten boxes of Chinese food!!! Full garbage bags and flies! 

And the worst part of it all: AT MY DESK she had her OPEN diary to a page that said basically how much she hated me. I went through her diary (yes, I did!!) and she said I was inconsiderate. I made too much noise - talking on the phone, taking a shower, watching TV, coming home at night. I cooked gross food - mostly stir fry vegetables and tofu. She said I smelled!!  When she came home, she knew I had read her diary. We did not speak at all after that. 

I felt 1% bad but I left. She survived before and could survive after. She texted me a few months later apologizing and asked me to come back. She said I was ruining her life because she couldn't afford her bills (not true) and being disabled couldn't survive on her own (rehire your maid).  I didn't respond. Our mutual "friends" stopped talking to me because of what I did to her.

If she was a close relative I would have stayed begrudgingly. I don't know what happened to her and don't care. 

People who pull that card are only concerned with one thing - The Problem possibly becoming THEIR problem.  You just know that they wanted to shame you into going back because they were sick of hearing her bitch about how hard her life was and dropping anvil-heavy hints to them about taking over some of the things you were doing for her.

[zoeychloe]

Apr 29, 2024 0:30:47 GMT kittylady said:

People who pull that card are only concerned with one thing - The Problem possibly becoming THEIR problem. You just know that they wanted to shame you into going back because they were sick of hearing her bitch about how hard her life was and dropping anvil-heavy hints to them about taking over some of the things you were doing for her.

LOL yes that was it. I was surprised by the whole thing, I was naive about friends then.