Natalie Portman, Ben Millepied - affair?

[notoriousmkg]

Those are very good points, Sputnik.

[czb]

agree to a certain point.

but maybe i'm a puritan, hear me roarrrrr.

it would be nice to not blame someone, things happen, blah blah blah. but i do believe in commitment.

[dolem]

Personally, I just think it shows a massive lack of respect for your partner. Yes, people grown apart and change and maybe need to break up. Those things happen. But, when you're in a long term relationship with someone, that person at a minimum deserves your respect. If you want to be with someone else that's fine, but respect your partner enough to break it off first.

[notoriousmkg]

Yes, I would be sympathetic to someone who was blindsided by a cheating partner. And the opposite of that to the one who cheated. But I think there are a lot of variations on that scenario. For example, a dead bedroom situation, where an exasperated spouse stepped out. Or an abusive situation where the abused person sought some kind of comfort with someone else. Also, I would not blame the AP as much unless they themselves were also cheating a blindsided partner, or this was a serial thing with them where they loved the drama of hooking up with someone who was unavailable/forbidden fruit.

[ravenna]

I feel like a lot of men are unhappy or dissatisfied with their relationships but are too cowardly to leave until they have already found someone else. I feel a lot of contempt for that cowardice.

[notoriousmkg]

^^^ If you read Reddit "r\relationship advice", it definitely goes both ways.

[constancespry]

Jun 7, 2023 12:51:30 GMT lindsaywhit said:

Jun 7, 2023 6:09:29 GMT Cartermrc said:

I like the old “Marry a man who cheats on his wife, you're married to a man who cheats on his wife.” Duh.

Yeah, I agree with all that, but it disturbs me a little that comments like this and others in this thread take the blame off of the one who did the actual cheating, and once again makes the woman the almost sole focus of shame and contempt. All of these statements are true but they are better used for warnings to women not to be stupid for "love" and not to be a party to the demise of a marriage.

It's the man who is cheating, whether for the first time or the twentieth. Do I feel a bit less sympathy for Natalie in this case? Sure - but Benjamin Millepied (Gagh - the name alone should be a warning) is the one wrecking havoc on his wife, his children, and the family unit they have created. 

Let's keep the focus on the real asshole instead of giving him a bit of a pass because he has an established pattern of asshat behavior. 

I always think of milipedes when i read his name. 😁

[trixie]

Jun 8, 2023 16:22:58 GMT ravenna said:

I feel like a lot of men are unhappy or dissatisfied with their relationships but are too cowardly to leave until they have already found someone else. I feel a lot of contempt for that cowardice.

Especially someone else who gives stellar blowjobs.

[sputnik]

lol y'all are judgy! i think serial monogamists are a personality type. it's not how i roll but i wouldn't call it cowardice either. some people just don't do being single. and it's not just men. i've known a lot of women that don't end a relationship until they have a replacement firmly in the picture. with varying degrees of 'overlap' between the two. i have friends who technically haven't been single since they were teenagers.

[ravenna]

So what you're saying, Sput, is that you judge people more harshly for wearing white shoes and hoop earrings than you do for cheating?   

Of course it goes both ways, but I see it more among men.  I remember Sluce saying that when she studied psychology at uni, they taught that men leave because they found someone who makes them feel good about themselves and women leave because they hate what they've become in the marriage.  It's obviously a very broad generalization, but I found it interesting.

[sputnik]

^^^^
I think I might lol

[kittylady]

Jun 8, 2023 20:21:14 GMT trixie said:

Jun 8, 2023 16:22:58 GMT ravenna said:

I feel like a lot of men are unhappy or dissatisfied with their relationships but are too cowardly to leave until they have already found someone else. I feel a lot of contempt for that cowardice.

Especially someone else who gives stellar blowjobs.

I'm trying to remember - was that the creamy thighs one or the pancake ass one?

[trixie]

^^ I don't think it was either. I can't think of her name but this was one who started out a pretty good poster then started telling her tale about how she lured her husband (who of course was in a bad marriage, no sex for years) from his wife with her stellar blow jobs. Of course all the pitchforks and torches came out and she was history.

[MsDark]

Was that the creamy thighs chick?

[Tati]

Janna something? JannaMarie? JaylaMarie?

I think creamy thighs was chatterweb.